Developing Trust on Your Team

A Lack of Trust Can Destroy Your Team

A chalkboard with a light bulb and the word trust written on it

What You Can Do To Develop an Atmosphere of Trust on Your Team

Trust is a central component of all healthy relationships. Teams are no exception. “There’s no team without trust,” said Paul Santagata, Head of Industry for Retail/Tech/Telecom at Google. “In Google’s fast-paced, highly demanding environment, our success hinges on the ability to take risks and be vulnerable in front of peers.” [“High-Performing Teams Need Psychological Safety. Here’s How to Create it” by Laura Delizonna, Harvard Business Review August 24, 2017]

The leader must facilitate trust and be a model of trust. This means creating a team environment characterized by open, candid relationships and a climate of psychological safety.

“As a company grows, communication becomes its biggest challenge. If the employees fundamentally trust the CEO, then communication will be vastly more efficient than if they don’t. . . A CEO’s ability to build this trust over time is often the difference between companies that execute well and companies that are chaotic.” – Ben Horowitz (quoted in https://www.zenefits.com/workest/ben-horowitz-culture-leadership-succeeding/)

It is a sad fact of my long experience working with entrepreneurs that many of them do not trust people easily, and this sets the tone for the way they manage their teams and how team members, in turn, manage their teams. When you don’t trust someone, if you feel they lack competence, skill, or experience or you question their good will and good intentions, you are more likely to try to control or micromanage them. This can severely damage a team’s effectiveness.

A lack of trust and a climate of fear on the team is the opposite of psychological safety. It is toxic and can result not merely in an uncomfortable workplace and a lack of openness, but also in finger-pointing and conflicts between team members, politics, false consensus leading to bad decisions, and ultimately in turnover. It will curtail collaboration, weaken problem solving, hamper individual and group performance and diminish results.

The more interdependent the team – the more team members are dependent on each other to get their work done – the more trust matters. This can be particularly relevant for startups where the number of people involved is small and collaboration is especially vital. For example, Engineers can’t build anything unless the Product team defines what customers want, what features they care about, and Product can’t really do that without coordination with the Marketing team. All these relationships rely on trust: that information is being openly shared, that people are telling the truth, giving honest feedback, working through differences and collaborating and working together to meet commitments.

When there is good will and psychological safety on a team, members will be willing to be vulnerable and openly discuss their problems, opinions, and concerns. In addition, trust also increases the commitment and loyalty between team members, which reduces unwanted turnover, and increases a sense of common identity.

How Trust Grows

Trust builds slowly, over time. It is built in very small moments but can be destroyed in an instant. If team members have shared important experiences and been successful working together, or have endured difficult times and made it through to the other side, trust will naturally increase.

Trust grows when there is openness, information sharing, honesty, and the ability to voice differences and work together through conflict. As Google’s Project Aristotle on effective teamwork has found, members must feel free enough to share their opinions without fear of recrimination or attack. As a New York Times article said, “ We must be able to talk about what is messy or sad, to have hard conversations with colleagues who are driving us crazy. We can’t be focused just on efficiency.”

Growth of trust also requires regular interaction between members, listening and respecting each other’s ideas. This too takes time, and it means that you, as the leader, need to look for opportunities to increase the level of interaction and collaboration between members of the team. If team members operate in silos or have more frequent communication with the leader than with each other, the team will be less effective.

This can be especially challenging with remote team members. Videoconferences between team members in another country or city, or just in another building or domain, have become commonplace and the leader must pay close attention to bringing team members together in person whenever possible. Where that is not an option, the leader needs to be very deliberate about insuring active participation from all team members rather than allowing in-person members to dominate the discussion.

Does Your Team Trust You?

Leaders are often unaware of how much – or how little – team members are on board with the leader’s strategy, goals, and plans. Even worse, they often assume they have the team’s trust, when that is not always the case. Here are some ways to tell if your team trusts you:

Team members sometimes take a different view from yours, and express it freely.
Team members keep you informed of their progress. They are comfortable coming to you for help or suggestions if they get stuck.
Team members appear comfortable admitting mistakes, and are willing to discuss their problems rather than hiding or minimizing them, or concealing them in fancy PowerPoints.
Team members approach you when they have a non-work problem, to request time off or support.
Team members are not obviously defensive or over-critical about statements you make.
Team meetings are relatively open and there is wide participation, with everyone making a contribution.
Team members speak up – often privately – if they have a problem with one of your decisions or your behavior and are prepared to discuss their concerns.
There does not appear to be excessive gossip in the team.

These are all signs that you have done a good job in creating an atmosphere of safety and trust.

What Happens When Trust Is Strong?

A recent meta-analysis of 112 research studies confirmed that trust between team members is highly correlated with the achievement of team goals. When trust is present, problem solving tends to be creative and productive. Discussions are livelier and out-of-the-box solutions get put on the table when fear of self-expression is absent. Members willingly take greater risks and say what is on their minds directly rather than behind others’ backs.

Trust has a similarly powerful impact on decision-making. The best decisions are made when the best thinking and all the facts are put on the table. When team members feel safe and expect that others will behave in a supportive and positive manner, they will be more willing to be vulnerable and open. They will work more collaboratively and stay more focused on team goals.

What Happens When Trust Is Weak?

When trust is not strong, people are unwilling to share their real opinions and concerns. In that case, you are not getting the best thinking out of them. Often this lack of trust is due to the leader, who may have created an intimidating environment or failed to police bad behavior among members, such as personal attacks. In that environment, people are unwilling to share intuitive insights or half-formed ideas.

Problem solving tends to degenerate and become ineffective. Interpersonal relationships among team members interfere with and distort perception of the problem. That’s because, in the absence of trust, people’s energy and creativity are more focused on self-protection than on finding creative solutions. They feel the need to protect themselves from attack, humiliation, or retribution, rather than apply their energy and attention to problem solving and may withhold half-formed ideas that may contain the seed of a solution.

In the absence of trust, team members are more suspicious of others’ motivations, and become defensive. Openness is reduced, and people don’t say what they really think. Team members lose sight of team goals and focus on personal self-interest.

How to Build Team Trust

Be honest with team members. Don’t spin things. If you distort the truth or outright lie, team members won’t trust you. Tell them the truth rather than what you think they want to hear. A leader must establish and maintain high standards of personal integrity.
Show team members that you care about them as people rather than merely as units of production. Organizations and teams are not machines. Results are important but excessive focus on hitting goals and deadlines or improving performance and quality can give the message that you only see team members as means to an end. Create opportunities to socialize with them in informal settings such as team dinners and avoid too much focus on business issues at that time.
Be proactive in building relationships. Listen to individual team members and get to know them and their concerns. Check in with them regularly to find out how things are going in their world and how they are feeling about events, projects, problems etc. It is easy for a busy team leader to become isolated and insulated from the problems and concerns of employees. If you are too distant from team members and don’t invest in getting to know them and what is important to them, they will be less likely to trust you. Leaders who show interest in the needs and challenges of the employees they manage set a positive tone on the team. Employees who feel valued and supported are more likely to be motivated to get results.
Occasionally survey the team to take its temperature, particularly around trust levels and morale. Then discuss any barriers to teamwork that are surfaced by the results.
Don’t withhold information. Leaders often worry that openly sharing sensitive information about financial results, decisions, or developments could cause problems. Whenever possible, eliminate secrets. Provide team members with both information they need, and information they want. Many leaders justify withholding information by saying, “I provide information on a need-to-know basis.” This reflects a lack of trust and need for control. Obviously, not all information can be shared. But ask team members what information they are not getting that they want and need. When possible, let them know about plans, developments, opportunities, challenges, and priorities. Sharing information makes people feel more like partners, and in the absence of information, rumors and speculation about worst-case scenarios proliferate.
Explain the rationale behind your decisions. Give team members the context they need to understand why you made a decision and use it as an opportunity to teach and explain your thought process and the factors that they need to consider in making similar decisions. This is an opportunity to develop new leaders. Don’t be too quick to take responsibility for “important” problems. Let other team members own the analysis, the plan, and as much of the action as possible. Learn to empower team members as they demonstrate competence and good judgment. This demonstrates trust.
Don’t micromanage. It suggests that you don’t believe that people will get things done without close monitoring and control, and that you don’t trust their judgment or capabilities. If you want to develop the trust of others, you must demonstrate trust in them.
Put the good of the team and the organization ahead of your own self-interest. Leaders who are fixated on their reputation, financial rewards, and personal recognition are quickly distrusted by their team.
Keep your commitments to team members and the team as a whole. If you don’t follow through on your promises, they will question if you will really do what you say you will do. If you don’t meet your commitments, you will send a message that others don’t need to meet theirs. Lack of consistency and dependability will destroy trust.
Avoid blaming team members for mistakes, particularly in front of others. Create a norm around learning from mistakes. Effective team leaders take a little more than their share of the blame and go out of their way to give others the credit for achievements.
Be human. Be open about your own mistakes and weaknesses and you will create space for others to be open about their shortcomings and problems. Don’t communicate in a formal, overly business-like manner that hides your humanity and accessibility. Be genuine and real.
Monitor your own behavior and pay attention to the impact of your words and actions. Leaders who fail to treat team members with respect, consideration and sensitivity can destroy trust quickly. Trust takes a long time to develop but can be broken quickly.
Don’t play favorites. When you reward your friends and fail to confront their substandard performance, it undermines trust and increases politics. Treat all team members fairly and consistently.
Walk your talk. Be vigilant that your behavior is consistent with your stated beliefs and values. When the leader doesn’t behave in accord with the organization’s values and the team’s rules of the road, trust and credibility will be destroyed.

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The Hidden Cost of Care: When Empathy Becomes a Leadership Liability (Part 5 of The Best Leaders Playbook — Inner Mastery Series)

By Rich Hagberg • November 28, 2025

The Nicest Boss in the World He was adored. He remembered birthdays, checked in on people’s families, and stayed late helping fix slides no one asked him to touch. His team called him “the best boss we’ve ever had.” He was also running on fumes. Behind the warm smile was a leader quietly burning out — drowning in everyone else’s problems, too empathetic for his own good. If you’re a leader who prides yourself on caring deeply, this might sting a little: empathy, taken too far, becomes control in disguise. Empathy’s Secret Shadow Empathy is essential for leadership. It builds loyalty, safety, and trust. But the same trait that makes people feel seen can also make them dependent. When you can’t tolerate someone else’s discomfort, you start protecting them from it. You step in to fix, to soothe, to rescue. It looks noble. It feels generous. But it quietly steals agency — theirs and yours. Your team stops growing because you’re doing their emotional labor. You stop leading because you’re managing feelings instead of outcomes. That’s the hidden cost of care. The Emotional Guilt Loop Over-empathetic leaders live in a constant tug-of-war between compassion and guilt. They think: “They’re already stretched — I can’t pile more on.” “If I push harder, I’ll seem uncaring.” “I’ll just do it myself; it’s easier.” Sound familiar? That’s not empathy anymore. That’s guilt masquerading as kindness. And guilt makes terrible business decisions. Because guilt doesn’t guide you toward what’s right. It just steers you away from what feels uncomfortable. A Founder’s Story One founder I coached, let’s call her Lina, led with heart. She built her company around “people first.” And she meant it. But somewhere along the way, “people first” turned into “me last.” She couldn’t say no. She kept saving underperformers, approving vacations during crunch time, rewriting others’ work to spare them stress. Her team adored her — until they didn’t. Because beneath her helpfulness was quiet resentment. And resentment always leaks. The breakthrough came when she realized something simple but hard: “I was protecting people from learning the hard parts of growth.” That’s when she started leading again instead of parenting. When Caring Becomes Control Here’s the paradox: the more you care, the more you risk over-controlling. You jump in to fix not because you don’t trust them, but because you feel for them. It’s empathy turned inward — I can’t stand watching them struggle. But leadership isn’t about eliminating discomfort. It’s about using it wisely. People grow by stretching, not by being spared. When you save someone from every failure, you’re also saving them from competence. The Biology of Burnout Chronic empathy triggers chronic stress. When you absorb other people’s emotions all day, your nervous system never gets a break. You start mirroring everyone’s anxiety like an emotional amplifier. Your brain thinks you’re in crisis — even when you’re not. That’s why over-caring leaders are often the first to burn out. Their compassion becomes constant cortisol. The irony? The leaders who want to create safety for others end up unsafe themselves. How to Care Without Carrying Feel, then filter. It’s okay to feel someone’s frustration. Just don’t keep it. Ask: “Is this mine to hold?” Help through accountability. Say, “I know this is tough, and I also need you to take ownership.” The and matters. Let discomfort be developmental. When a team member struggles, resist rescuing. Stay present, not protective. Coach before you comfort. Instead of “Don’t worry,” try, “What do you think your next move is?” Reframe empathy as empowerment. Caring isn’t about absorbing pain; it’s about believing people can handle it. Funny but True One exec I worked with told me, “Every time I stop helping, I feel like a jerk.” I said, “No — you feel like a leader. It just takes a while to tell the difference.” He laughed and said, “So… you’re telling me leadership feels bad at first?” I said, “Exactly. Growth always does.” The Cultural Ripple Effect When leaders overfunction, teams underfunction. When leaders hold space instead of taking space, teams rise. Empathy should expand others, not consume you. The healthiest cultures balance care and candor — support and stretch. They normalize struggle as part of the process instead of something to be hidden or rescued. That’s what real compassion looks like in motion. The Maturity of Tough Empathy Empathy without boundaries is exhaustion. Empathy with boundaries is wisdom. The mature version of empathy doesn’t say, “I’ll protect you.” It says, “I believe you can handle this — and I’ll walk beside you while you do.” That’s not cold. That’s developmental. Your Challenge This Week Notice where you’re rescuing someone instead of coaching them. Pause before you step in. Ask yourself, Am I helping because they need it — or because I need to feel helpful? Then take one small risk: let them handle it. They’ll probably surprise you. And you’ll feel lighter than you have in months. Final Word Caring is beautiful. It’s what makes you human. But unchecked empathy turns leaders into emotional pack mules — carrying what was never theirs to bear. Real leadership is still full of heart. It just remembers that compassion without accountability isn’t love. It’s fear. And the moment you stop rescuing everyone, you finally start freeing them — and yourself.

Leading Without Fear: The Psychological Maturity Behind Sound Judgment (Part 4 of The Best Leaders Playbook — Inner Mastery Series)

By Rich Hagberg • November 28, 2025

The Smart Leader’s Blind Spot It’s strange how often the smartest people make the worst decisions under pressure. They don’t lose IQ. They lose perspective. I’ve seen this happen more times than I can count. A sharp, decisive executive starts second-guessing every move. They overanalyze, overwork, and overcontrol — all in the name of being “thorough.” They think they’re being rational. But underneath the spreadsheets and meetings is something far less logical. It’s fear. The Fear That Doesn’t Look Like Fear We think of fear as panic — sweating, shaking, obvious. But most leadership fear hides behind competence. It shows up as perfectionism, busyness, overcommitment, indecision. It sounds like, “Let’s get more data.” “Let’s not rush this.” “Let’s keep this one close.” That’s not analysis. That’s avoidance with a better vocabulary. When fear runs the show, the goal subtly shifts from making the right decision to avoiding the wrong one. And those two things are worlds apart. The Cost of Fear-Based Leadership When leaders operate from fear, everything tightens. They stop listening. They rush to defend. They play small when the company needs boldness. They keep people who are loyal over people who are competent — because loyalty feels safer. And here’s the real tragedy: the team starts copying the fear. They become cautious, compliant, quiet. Pretty soon, no one’s leading anymore. They’re all managing risk — mostly emotional risk. A CEO’s Moment of Truth One CEO I coached — brilliant, confident, deeply human — was terrified of being wrong in front of his board. He masked it well. On the outside: decisive. Inside: a constant hum of anxiety. After a tough quarter, he admitted, “I realized half my decisions weren’t based on strategy — they were based on protecting my image.” That moment of honesty was the start of his maturity curve. Once he could name the fear, it stopped running his show. He didn’t become fearless. He became aware. And awareness is what turns reaction into wisdom. Why Fear Feels Safer Than Clarity Fear has a strange way of convincing us it’s caution. Caution whispers, “Slow down and look.” Fear screams, “Don’t move.” The first sharpens judgment. The second paralyzes it. And the more we listen to fear, the more it disguises itself as prudence. That’s why emotional maturity isn’t about suppressing fear. It’s about being able to say, “Ah, that’s fear talking — not fact.” How Fear Distorts the Mind Here’s what happens when fear hijacks leadership: Tunnel vision: You fixate on the immediate threat and forget the big picture. Confirmation bias: You start looking for data that validates your anxiety. Short-termism: You make safe decisions that feel good now and cause pain later. Blame shifting: You protect your ego by pushing ownership outward. The mind gets smaller. The leader gets reactive. The company gets stuck. The Maturity Shift Emotional maturity isn’t about being unshakable. It’s about staying curious in the presence of fear. Mature leaders don’t pretend they’re fearless. They just don’t let fear make the decisions. They pause, breathe, and ask, “What part of this is data, and what part is my insecurity talking?” That single question can change everything. A Founder’s Story A founder I worked with once said, “I’m not afraid — I just have high standards.” But as we unpacked it, he realized those “high standards” were actually a way to control outcomes. He feared disappointment — his own and others’. When he finally stopped trying to protect his reputation and started protecting his clarity, his decisions got faster and cleaner. The business didn’t just grow — it started breathing again. Because when you stop trying to look right, you finally have room to be right. Funny, But True I once asked a CEO what he’d do differently if he weren’t afraid of failing. He said, “Probably the same things I’m doing now — just with less Advil.” That’s the thing: most leaders already know what to do. Fear just makes it hurt more. How to Lead Without Fear (Even When It’s There) Name it early. The sooner you recognize fear, the less power it has. Ask yourself, “What’s the story fear’s telling me right now?” Reframe mistakes as tuition. You’ll still pay for errors — might as well learn something from them. Separate identity from outcome. A bad decision doesn’t mean a bad leader. It means a leader who’s still learning — like everyone else. Keep one truth-teller nearby. Someone who loves you enough to tell you when you’re acting from ego. Practice micro-bravery. Tell one hard truth a day. Say “I don’t know” once a week. Let discomfort become strength training. The Paradox of Fear Fear doesn’t make you weak. It means you care. But if you never face it, it becomes your compass — and it always points backward. Courage, maturity, clarity — they’re not opposites of fear. They’re what happen when you stop running from it. Your Challenge This Week Next time you feel that knot in your stomach — before a board meeting, a tough conversation, a high-stakes call — pause. Ask yourself: What am I afraid might happen? Then ask: What might happen if I act from clarity instead of fear? That’s not therapy. That’s leadership hygiene. Final Word The mark of maturity isn’t fearlessness. It’s self-awareness. You can’t control your fear. But you can choose whether it sits in the driver’s seat or the passenger’s. Great leaders don’t wait for fear to disappear. They lead with it beside them — quietly, respectfully — but never in charge.

The Courage to Let Go: Delegation as the Ultimate Act of Trust (Part 2 of The Best Leaders Playbook — The Paradox of Power Series)

By Rich Hagberg • November 21, 2025

The Overworked Hero Syndrome You can spot this one a mile away. They’re running at 120%, inbox exploding, calendar packed like a game of Tetris. They tell themselves it’s noble — “The team’s counting on me.” But deep down, it’s addiction. I know this pattern because I’ve lived it. That little rush you get when someone says, “We couldn’t do this without you”? That’s the dopamine hit of leadership ego. Feels good. Until it doesn’t. Because being indispensable isn’t a compliment. It’s a warning. Why Smart People Struggle to Let Go Most leaders don’t hoard work because they’re bad at delegation. They hoard because delegation threatens their identity. If your sense of worth comes from being the fixer, the doer, the one who “always delivers,” letting go feels like erasure. Who are you if you’re not in every meeting? Who are you if things go fine without you? That’s the emotional root of overwork — not competence, but fear of irrelevance. Control in Disguise Delegation looks like an operational skill, but it’s really emotional work. Leaders tell me all the time: “I can’t delegate — my team’s not ready.” What they mean is: “I can’t delegate — I’m not ready.” The truth is, your people won’t become ready until you give them the chance. That’s the brutal math of leadership: you can have control, or you can have scale. You don’t get both. A Founder’s Story A founder I coached — let’s call her Sara — ran her company like a benevolent tornado. She did everything: strategy, hiring, investor calls, even reviewing design files “just to make sure the tone was right.” When she came to me, she was working 80-hour weeks and quietly resenting everyone she was “helping.” I asked, “What would happen if you stopped fixing things for people?” She said, “They’d drop the ball.” Six months later, she tested it. She handed off a project completely — no shadow-managing, no emergency check-ins. Her team nailed it. She said, “I didn’t realize they were this capable.” I said, “They didn’t realize you were this controlling.” We both laughed — but she got the point. The Real Meaning of Delegation Delegation isn’t a time-management trick. It’s a transfer of trust. It says, “I believe you can handle this — even if you don’t do it exactly my way.” It’s also a developmental gift. When you delegate fully, you don’t just lighten your load — you level someone up. Delegation is how leaders stop being the engine and start being the architect. The Fear Behind “It’s Easier If I Just Do It” That sentence might as well be carved on the tombstone of burned-out executives everywhere. Sure, doing it yourself feels faster. But every time you do, you quietly train the organization to need you. You build a culture of dependence — and then complain that people don’t take initiative. Delegation feels risky because it is. You will lose control of how something gets done. But you gain something far more valuable: time to lead, not just manage. Funny but True I once told a CEO, “If you died tomorrow, who could run your company?” He said, “That’s morbid.” I said, “No — that’s planning.” He got the message. A few months later, he’d built a real leadership team for the first time. He told me, “It’s weird — I’m working less, and everything’s better.” That’s not weird. That’s delegation done right. How to Build the Trust Muscle Start small, but mean it. Hand off one real decision — not a token task. Resist the urge to check back in “just to see how it’s going.” Define success, not the path. Set the destination clearly, then step back. They’ll probably surprise you with how differently — and often better — they get there. Coach after, not during. Let people own outcomes before you give feedback. Growth requires a little space to fail safely. Reward initiative, not imitation. If you only praise people for doing things your way, you’ll never build leaders — only clones. Say thank you — and mean it. Appreciation is the emotional contract that makes delegation sustainable. The Emotional Reframe Delegation isn’t about trust in others. It’s about trust in yourself — in the system you’ve built, in your ability to recover from other people’s mistakes, and in your willingness to be unnecessary. That last one’s the hardest. But when you finally stop trying to be irreplaceable, your company starts becoming unstoppable. Your Challenge This Week Write down everything on your plate. Circle three things that drain you but could teach someone else something valuable. Pick one and delegate it — completely. Then, when the urge to “check in” hits, take a walk instead. Let them own it. When it works — and it will — tell them. Celebrate it. Because that’s how trust compounds. Final Word Letting go doesn’t make you weaker. It proves you’re strong enough to lead without needing to control. Every founder eventually faces the same test: can you stop being the engine and start being the ecosystem? The day you say yes, you stop leading through force and start leading through faith. That’s not surrender. That’s courage.

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