Along with their natural strengths, Relationship Builders have a cluster of leadership problems which revolve around their warm and sympathetic natures. We have already noted that they have a particularly hard time making tough decisions or taking strong actions like firing or disciplining talent. Compounding this problem is the RB’s need to be liked. If a decision could make them unpopular, they don’t want to do it. This can stand in the way of firm, decisive leadership, holding people accountable, and driving for results.
Depending on the circumstances, compassion can be either a plus or a minus for a leader. It is another one of those double-edged swords that can cut both ways. This points to a crucial understanding: Different styles of leadership are required for different situations. For results-oriented leadership at crunch time, for example, a Relationship Builder may not be the best choice. If survival of the company is dependent upon getting results in the short term, a Manager of Execution is what you need. If the company is starting out, or has lost its focus, there’s nobody better than a Visionary Evangelist. For internal conflict, infighting, or unresolved antagonisms, Relationship Builder skills are most helpful, as they are also vital for harmonious functioning in “normal” times – whatever those are!
Not very creative
Relationship Builders do not tend to be especially creative or innovative. Naturally, there are outstanding exceptions to this rule – Oprah Winfrey, talk show host, actor, author, and so much more, is an outstanding example of a highly creative Relationship Builder. But as a general rule, our data paints a clear picture.
Why should this be so?
RB’s are neither visionaries nor change agents. In fact, many RB’s say that they dislike change; they feel little need to move or switch jobs; they’re inclined to take their vacations in the same place every year. And yet, the essence of creativity is change: developing something new, disrupting the existing pattern.
A leader who is primarily a RB is not likely to challenge the status quo or try out new approaches, because it may upset people. Their values are conservative. They respect authority and tradition, and if there is a tried-and-true path, they will follow it. They often feel there is a “right way” to live. They play by the rules and do what is socially desirable.
They are not big risk takers.
They are more likely to be loyal followers than visionary leaders. But they provide a social cohesiveness that enables the organization to function smoothly.
RB’s are not loners.
They spend most of their time actively involved in relating to other people. But, as an abundance of research has shown, creativity demands a substantial amount of inwardness, of reflection and quiet thought. Relationship Builders are just not built that way. Where a Visionary Evangelist will spend Saturday evening browsing the web or reading articles to help her gain a deeper strategic understanding about the world and its impact on her business, the relationship-oriented RB is more likely to go to dinner with friends.
RB’s are not very interested in the realities of the broader world.
Their attention is on what’s in front of them – their family or their co-workers, the part of their organization that concerns their daily activities. Rather than keeping abreast of trends and events that might spark creative ideas or affect organizational strategy, they prefer to focus on the people in their lives.
But think about this: It’s true that RB’s don’t tend to be inventors, world class artists, pioneers of scientific breakthroughs or technological innovation. But resolving a conflict between two people or two factions on a team is a creative act; projecting optimism, brightness and positivity into a tense group environment, being supportive and encouraging to someone who doubts his abilities – these are creative acts of real value. It’s creativity on a personal level, an intangible or spiritual level, whereas in our culture, we tend to value creativity only if it results in things, like moon rockets, iPads, and electric cars.
Mediocre presentations
The RB’s people-centered orientation and typical disinterest in being by themselves has an adverse effect on their ability to make compelling presentations. Visionary Evangelists are often eloquent speakers, whether to groups within the organization or to the public. Passionate about their vision, they take the time to formulate their ideas in depth, plan their talk in detail, and practice delivering it. Then they can stand before a group and make a powerful impression. Relationship Builders are so caught up in social interaction that they rarely sit still long enough to reflect deeply or formulate their ideas thoroughly and persuasively. As a result, their presentations often lack depth.
Another contrast: VE’s love the spotlight. Poor team players, they’re happiest making a solo performance. And they are always certain that other people can’t wait to hear what they have to say. RB’s would rather listen to others than call attention to themselves. When they do speak to groups, they may over-rely on their ability to connect with an audience, and not make the effort to craft a cogent and convincing talk. Thus, they may be perceived as warmhearted, likeable people with nothing much to say.
Too nice
To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln: “You can please all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot please all the people all the time.” And yet, pleasing everybody all the time, if they could do it, would be at the top of a Relationship Builder’s agenda.
This desire to please is part of the RB’s constellation of warm, human qualities. They are kind, considerate, and caring. They enjoy helping others, and at work are often found in coaching and mentoring roles, even informally. “Where are you stuck?” they may ask a colleague or report. “How can I help?” They are supportive, diplomatic, careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings, reluctant to rock a comfortable boat. This can come from genuine concern. But if it stems from a compelling need to be liked by others, it can cripple the leader’s ability to set and enforce high standards, make tough decisions, and hold people accountable for their performance. RB’s have a very hard time playing the role of the tough guy, the enforcer, but that role has to be in the repertoire of any leader who wants to get results.
Closely tied to the RB’s reluctance to lay down the law is the inability to say “no,” to take a stand and hold to it. They want to be liked and to make everybody happy.
They don’t set high standards
Here’s another instance where the RB’s compassionate nature – and their drive to be universally liked – can reduce their effectiveness. In leadership roles they often fail to set high standards, or if they do, they don’t follow through by challenging results or performance or demanding accountability; they can be too accepting of mediocre performance. Their desire not to hurt others’ feelings prevents them from being tough when the situation calls for it. They don’t push people to deliver their best.
This laxness about accountability differentiates Relationship Builders from both Visionary Evangelists and Managers of Execution, both of whom set challenging goals and demand high standards of excellence in performance.
RB’s are easygoing, accepting, and patient. These are great qualities to have in a friend and, up to a point, in a leader. But it doesn’t always work, especially when there’s some urgency. RB managers and leaders can be overly patient with employees who don’t do what’s expected of them, who don’t honor their commitments, fail to complete projects and tasks on time, or have trouble making decisions.
Sometimes a little impatience from the leader helps people meet their deadlines: “Let’s go! Let’s get this done!”
Not brilliant at hiring
The Relationship Builders’ high level of trust in others, which makes them so appreciated by colleagues and reports, gets in their way when they interview. They tend to accept what people say at face value, and make hiring decisions based on their feelings rather than facts and objective measures. Optimistic, their propensity is to see the strong qualities of others rather than what could go wrong.
RB’s are the most astute at reading people and their motivations, so you would expect them to be great at finding and attracting talent and hiring the right people for the job. But too often they fail to put systems in place to evaluate candidates objectively. They’ll take on the people they resonate with, people they like or who went to the same business school, rather than making an analytical assessment.
The hiring process needs to be disciplined if it’s going to be effective. Doing it right involves systematically evaluating the needs of the organization, laying out the required competencies, attitudes and experience – doing a job analysis of what’s required for the position. It’s about identifying and targeting people who have those characteristics, a disciplined process for interviewing, and, as the organization grows, enlisting multiple people as interviewers, with different people asking the candidate questions. It involves carefully assessing the candidate-job fit. It requires negotiation in managing the details of compensation, and finally, onboarding the person so you don’t just toss them into the company and wish them luck! The problem is that Relationship Builder-types are not systematic in doing all this, which requires Manager of Execution skills. Ideally, the interviewer will combine Manager of Execution and Relationship Builder skills, to get the best results.
Not seen as forceful, take-charge leaders
People sometimes don’t perceive Relationship Builders to be confident, decisive leaders. Why is that?
- They do not appear to be ambitious. Because job, status, and achievement are not the most important factors in the Relationship Builder’s life, they rarely push hard for career advancement. They are not driven to be the best in their field. They don’t need to be king of the hill.
- They tend to be rather humble, self-aware individuals who are willing to admit their shortcomings. Even in high positions of power and authority, they generally don’t try to give the impression that they are superior or stand above others. They may feel the responsibility to take a leadership role in a particular situation, but they don’t feel driven to be the person in charge.
- RB’s seldom try to call attention to themselves; they don’t crave the spotlight. They do not need to be the star. They are willing to let other people have the credit and the glory.
- They are relatively non-competitive – that is, they would rather cooperate, work out a compromise or accommodate than fight.
RB’s are not people who toot their own horn. They are not cousins to the football players who prance in the end zone after scoring a touchdown. Rather, they are like the players who actually mean it when they say, “It’s not important that I was the one who scored. It was a team effort. What’s important is the team.”
Conclusions
Leadership, for Relationship Builders, is less about controlling, directing, and being in charge, than it is about guiding and caring for people. It’s less about gaining and maintaining position and power and more about building community, being useful and serving the needs of others. These are their natural values and predilections.
Because they do not have a drive to run the show, and may not feel completely at home in the high-pressure, get-it-done atmosphere of business, they rarely rise to senior executive positions. But Relationship Builders bring compassion and humanity to business. They may not have the visionary zeal or the managerial rigorousness – but they are essential ingredients in the mix that makes a successful organization. Without a Relationship Builder in an active leadership role, an organization can become an uncomfortable and dry place to work – sustained by a Visionary Evangelist who can’t connect to his or her people, or driven by a process-and-results obsessed Manager of Execution whose only concern is the bottom line.
Sometimes people think that the primary thing RB’s bring to the table is a basketful of warm fuzzies. They do bring that. But their contribution to the organization goes way beyond. Leaders who are Relationship Builders help to cement the relationships and weave the social fabric of the organization. By linking employees to them, they connect them to the organization. By creating personal bonds, they promote followership, buy-in, and employee engagement.
One last important fact is that few people are one pillar types: pure visionary evangelists, pure managers of execution or pure relationship builders. Our research on overall leadership effectiveness shows that leaders who combine relationship building skills with either visionary or execution skills are particularly successful. This mix of skills becomes increasingly important as the organization grows.
So, if you are a VE or ME, adding relationship building skills to your repertoire will help you scale as a leader and progress in your career.